I’ve had a pretty shit week. If I wanted to sugarcoat anything, I’d go buy a beignet. The amount of stress-induced breakdowns and resulting physical ailments I had these past seven days is taking a toll. It was mostly job stress, but also a lot of living in my head. Thinking about the what ifs, the whys, and the why nots. On top of it all, insomnia decided to pay a visit too.
Despite me resigning back in February, the relocating and the waiting, I need a day off from my thoughts. I need to relax and enjoy something but it isn’t possible.
I need someplace to call my own, where I can relax, be surrounded and feel grounded. A feeling I have not enjoyed since 2008- sixteen years!
I look around other’s homes and began to notice that there was stuff, art walls, tchotchkes, mementos, clutter, decor, unneeded items, cozy blankets, pillows, flowers, mismatched mugs and chairs, books, and photos – everywhere. I guess things make a home look lived in. Then I thought, Maybe I am over the essentialism and minimalism. Maybe I need something, or something’s to make me feel at “home.”
I thought about my own places that I have lived in the past 16 years and my own things. And I noticed that today, I have very few of these little mementos in my home, or none at all. Hell, I donated all of my furniture before moving. People barely collect things of worth anymore, I know I haven’t.
And why should we? All we need to revisit our memories is in the cloud. All photos are there, with a click of a button.
Not only does not touching a photograph, and not having any physical presence of it in my home makes it lose its value and to a degree its meaning, we also cannot derive any happiness from digital media without actively looking at it. How often do we look at those digital photos? Digital dust is all that they are.
Music, books, movies, and past memories used to be tangible things in our homes that ”sparked joy” without actively interacting with them. Digital media doesn’t do that. Digital Media creates minimalism
We were told that we had too much stuff, and that having said stuff was bad. Getting rid of all of my stuff, however, would make me free and happy.
Does it? Will having more stuff make me happier or sadder?
Art used to be visible, tangible, tactile, and it made a home feel like a home. Now art is small and fits on one tiny device, as if it isn’t allowed to take up space anymore.
I am rambling here, but to wrap it all up, as soon as I have the opportunity, I am going to fill my space with things that make me happy. Things that remind me of people I love and miss. It’s time to turn our house into a home. Now where is the nearest Ikea?