you've been visited by 
‍cranky chris.

Cranky Chris has a knack for working those dreaded customer service calls you've been putting off. Want to cancel your cable subscription? Need to speak with a CVS pharmacist? How about asking your significant other for a divorce?

Cranky Chris will handle it all for you with grace.

All Cranky Chris asks is you send this website to 1 person so they may utilize Cranky Chris' god-given gift of gab.

If you do not send this page to 1 person, you'll force Cranky Chris to text political donation solicitations to your phone every day, each more desperate than the last, for the rest of your life. No replying "STOP” to get out of this one.