Last month on 2/2 I began my year long journey to create life long habits for myself and throw in some fun intentions as well. The plan is to check in every month to monitor my progress.
Nutrition & Training
Still no concentrated effort to change my diet and this breaks my heart (literally?). I am, however, seeing the scale go towards the right direction. I’ve lost five pounds these past four weeks. Thirty-five pounds more to go.
Walking and yoga have been my focus when it comes to training my body. How much better would it be if I added gym time? Coming soon, cycling, thanks to a recently acquired bicycle.
Yoga & Meditation
Hard to believe but I am actually looking forward to practicing both of these. The discipline to being consistent is still elusive but the desire is still there.
Smile. Breathe. Focus.
Photography & Writing
Slow progress in organizing the decades worth of photos in the archives. The Vault is setup and the images now need to be culled. After that, I can begin the process of further organizing and printing.
On writing, the saying goes: if you want to be a writer, you have to be a reader. So let’s chalk this past up to a lot of reading and zero writing.
4/4
This is a year long journey and I feel like I am off to a slow start. When I check in next month I want to detail better results.
How To Be More Mindful
2020-03-05 20:12:36
This is not a know-it-all post. I’m learning as I go but I do want to share with what is working for me so far. I won’t go into the why. Everyone has their own reasons why and I’ve shared mine.
This website/journal is a great vehicle, for example. I can write down my thoughts and return to them later. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. It doesn’t have to have all the answers. But the process of writing is therapeutic. It is a stream of consciousness.
After that I try to find my own space. Not just physical space but time as well. 30-60 minutes a day is do-able. In your room, in the car, on a meal break at work. Wherever and whenever it takes to practice self-care, meditation.
Go for a walk, sit on the porch, spend some time in solitude and focus on your breathing. Your quiet. I’ve shared my desire with those around me and most are supportive. I’ve shared my thoughts and feelings and what is desirable to me. The act of sharing this mindfulness, like I am doing now, can be powerful.
Self Improvement
2020-03-06 06:51:34
“The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there.”
- Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
A Few Suggestions
2020-03-07 08:17:37
I’ve been thinking and rethinking a few of my behaviors and attitudes. What makes me a good person and what can make me a better person? Every now and then I find I could use help in areas I thought were fine but were revealed to be otherwise. This self-evaluation of core beliefs, what we are taught or what we have learned should be nurtured and constant.
Sleep early, wake early
I can better organize my day with some sort of routine or ritual when I am more energized.
Get more than 7 hours sleep
I’ve only recently discovered this the past few years. I wish I had learned it sooner.
Pray or meditate
Clarity or focus? Why not both? It is difficult to plan if your head is scrambled with multiple thoughts and distractions. I need to take some time to get my mind write. Prayer and meditation allows this better than anything else.
Do something different
Why be boring? Or bored? I need new stories and new adventures. I want to try things I’ve never done before. Take some risks. Have more fun.
Stop depending on stimulants
“We love the things that destroy us, because in that destruction we truly feel alive.””
I never understood this fascination with coffee. Or drug abuse. Although people think they perform better with these, the truth is, they really don’t. We’ve become so dependent on these things that we feel like we are incapable to perform without it. The problem isn’t the caffeine. It is the dependence to do daily tasks that don’t need it. It is possible. I know because I do without the coffee. But I do rely sometimes on sodas. Internal motivation, sleep, and some form of exercise can produce better energy than any other stimulant.
Stop consuming processed sugar
I enjoy sugary foods. I enjoy sugary foods knowing it hurts my gut but also my head. There is nothing of value to refined sugar that is depleted of vitamins or minerals. It makes me stupid, makes me fat, gets me cranky without it. How much more enjoyment can there be in my life without it? I don’t know. I’m hooked. I don’t know what to eat without it.
Write a short note
I enjoy leaving little notes behind in the most creative way to people I care about. I do need to have something else besides the drab yellow sticky note, though.
Write in your journal
Improve your writing skills, gain clarity, become your own therapist, detail curate your own history, plan your goals.
Read 1 book per week
Want to see the world differently? Try reading more. Try reading more than one genre. Change it up. You’ll be knowledgable on multiple topics and then realize you are able to connect these topics intelligently. Extraordinary people seek continued education and are always learning.
Podcasts on 1.5x speed
Listening and learning to faster audio helps cut your time in half. You learn faster. I use the Overcast app that uses Smart Speed. It automagically removes dead air, long pauses and even longer intros.
Make a bucket list and check some things off
Wether you have thirty days to live or thirty years, how would you organize your life for quality and enjoyment? Just like writing, try to have the end clearly in mind. And then plan around that. Focus on the priorities of life first and you’ll find time to rest and enjoy and play. Doing good work supports the lifestyle you choose based on these values and priorities.
No one lives forever and if you plan for this in mind, you can tick off some of those items. Take care of your personal planning needs and also your wants.
Try fasting
I’ve heard a few people try doing without food and drink, except water from anywhere between 12-24 hours at least once a week. While the idea sounds great, the practice is elusive to me. The idea that the digestive system can take a little break and that the other organs can have time to heal themselves is appealing. Supposedly a frequent practice of fasting can improve digestion, remove toxins, focus on mental clarity and improve mental/physical vigor. It is mentioned frequently in the Bible and other spiritual practices.
Fast from the internet
Reconnect with yourself and others as opposed to staying connected to the world. I’ve mentioned stimulants, sugar and other media. The internet counts. Reconnect with loved one instead. How much more attention and love can you give them? How much attention can be used towards your life goals, reading, writing, enjoyable activities?
Fast from the mainstream media
I’ve weaned off of this crap since right after the 2016 presidential election. No one is reporting the news, just stating their opinions. Everything is cyclical. The same stories, ideas, and agendas were discussed twenty years ago. Just change the names involved. I don’t care. Neither should anyone else.
Drink water frequently
This really does not need commentary
“I love you”
Saying and meaning this phrase not only changes them but it changes you. Not saying it has the same effects.
“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”
“Thank you”
Genuine gratitude is refreshing and rare.
“No”
“No more yes. It’s either HELL YEAH! or no.”
It is an easy word to say. “No” is a one syllable word but it is often the most difficult to say. I’ve found it easier and easier to say “no” recently.
Apologize
I messed up. Or, I messed up again. Now’s the time to apologize sincerely. Now is the time to make amends and let it go.
Remove all non-essentials from your life
Minimalism, essentialism; whatever you want to call it. Most of the possessions we have we don’t use frequently enough to justify having them around. I am frequently looking around for things to dismiss and saying “your services are no longer required.” It may be true that in 8 months after that I will need it but it will get replaced. Or I find I can make do without it after all.
Relax, guilt free
Ever see someone stop working only so they can ingest stimulants and get right back to working even longer? This is bad for creativity and productivity. It isn’t sustainable or healthy. Every hour I stand, stretch, walk around, refill the water and breathe deeply (so grateful for the apps on my watch that act as reminders)
Take a walk
The easiest, and most beneficial exercise we can do is walk.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
The dreaded question every supervisor asks. Mine just did recently during my annual review. Five years is too long. I prefer to cut that in half. I personally do this by not having such long term goals but to have frequent projects or experiments. How can I shave it down from five years to two and a half?
Save a minimum of 10%
I am at a point in my life where I am content. Finally. I am also at a point in my life where I am restoring my good name and credit due to some mistakes. Once this is finally addressed I can put even more money into savings. I can boost my retirement savings as well. I want to pay myself first and then pay the rest.
Give 10%
Or more. The world gives to the givers and takes from the takers. Find somewhere that will benefit and invest both your time and your money. Invest those things in your home that are no longer needed because you decided to pare down.
Faith or trust in something else
Believe in something greater than yourself, whatever that looks like. Or, whatever the mind can believe, the mind can achieve. Trust in yourself. Trust in others.
Practice daily kindness
One of the benefits of meditation for me has been appreciation and gratitude. This helps me become more sympathetic and empathetic towards others. I’ve complimented more. Listened more. Offered to assist if possible. Become nicer and more patient. Compliment others more. You’ll barely remember you did it, but the other person may never forget that you did. Kindness has unlimited upside.
Count your blessings daily
Thankfulness and gratitude is one of the best ways I can appreciate my life and those in it.
Do What You Love, Not What You Are Told
2020-03-07 08:18:30
I think this quote sums me up quite nicely.
Reboot
2020-03-10 21:43:18
Just about everything will work properly if you unplug it for a few minutes.
Even you.
What If?
2020-03-10 21:45:57
How would you know if your beliefs are wrong?
Complicated < Simple
2020-03-12 20:42:31
When life gets complicated take a walk and make some simple choices
Enjoying The Process
2020-03-13 18:12:19
Long before my beautiful daughter was born I was heavily interested in photography. I used a compact point and shoot Fuji to bring in the new millennium. Then upgraded to a more robust featured Olympus with optical zoom. All of this was used as a hobby, to document life events, etc. The images were okay but they weren’t the best quality. I used this life changing event of her arriving in our home as a way to justify my first DSLR, a Nikon D50. I wanted more quality images to capture just how beautiful she is. The next step of course was to advance my photography into portraits of other beautiful people. I learned by doing and evolved.
Twenty years later and my excitement and love for photography has grown. I find myself always looking for photographic opportunities. I’ve enjoyed learning the post-processing and organizing. The photo creativity has overshadowed my writing creativity. Now I am at the point where I want these images off the hard drive where no one can see them and printed up for full view. All the while keep learning and practicing for more.
I’ve documented people, events, concerts, travel, landscape and street photography. I’ve recently gone back to film photography and am remembering the joy of making each image count. Taking the time to think and enjoy the process. After all this I realized something:
My best photograph is the one I haven’t taken yet.
My best work is still ahead of me and this is what keeps me going.
Keep Calm And Carry On
2020-03-13 20:18:28
With all the distractions going on during these current events (Wuhan virus) it can be difficult to focus on anything else.
However, I believe doing what we do best can be very beneficial. By creating and doing the things we enjoy, it will help us stay positive, and to stay focused.
By creating and doing, it may be positive for others as a pleasant distraction from those same current events. What we create and if we choose to share could be helpful to those around us. We need more pleasant and meaningful distractions. We need more ideas, art, stories as uplifting and inspirational input instead of the depressing and sensational news out there.
Situations like these make us realize how small the world can be and how connected we are to each other.
Instead of avoiding creativity, embrace it. Share it. I’ll be sharing more of my thoughts and more of my photography. I choose not to get caught up by world crisis.
Keep calm and share on.
The Experience
2020-03-14 11:08:55
When I first started practicing meditation recently, I thought it was to make me more calm. Then it was to make me less reactive. Then to make me less attached to things.
These things can happen if I do this regularly. But I also want to focus on the experience itself.
Feeling my breath as it flows in and out, the sensations. My mind typically wanders and I notice it. Then I come back to it with focus. Five seconds or even five minutes of distraction occurs before I come back to the focus on the breathing. you keep coming back, even if you’re sidetracked for 5 minutes.
My mind gets in the way. That’s what the mind does after all. It thinks, it wanders with the day’s upcoming activities, yesterday’s regrets and daydreaming.
We label things and feelings as happy, unpleasant or idiotic. We judge if something is good or bad. We judge if people are good or bad or idiotic. Anxiousness, anticipation, fantasy, worry, doubt, excitement and more. The mind’s commentary is amazing...and distracting.
To re-focus I’ll deliberately start to notice sensations such as light or sounds, the pang of hunger. This brings me back to the experience- without labels or judgements. I start to relax and enjoy the experience for what it is. It isn’t good or bad, it just is. Nothing needs to be done, nothing needs changing. Just be curious and ask what is this like right now?
This practice of experiencing meditation and breathing translates to life as it currently is as well. I can accept it easier. If I can learn to approach life the same way, my experience of peace, happiness, calm and focus, then how much better would my life become?
Just Do It
2020-03-14 19:27:34
Most people aren’t prepared to start a career in writing. Writing may be a gift in some of us but not all of us. Forming words into sentences and arranging those sentences in such a way as to not be boring can be a real challenge.
At first, I didn’t know what I wanted to write. I just knew I had to do it. I’ve maintained a blog/website for the past twenty years. I just started by sharing my thoughts and feelings. And then moved on to sharing news and ideas with other similarly minded people. In the back of my mind I have always felt like an imposter, or a poser. Self-doubt takes over at the worst moments and the page stays blank. The cursor blinks, waiting on me. Other times the support wasn’t there or you’ve been mocked for your lofty ambitions.
There can be a lot of noise and not enough signal when we finally make the time to sit down and do this thing we want to do. You have finally made time to do it...but the mood wasn’t right and neither was your headspace.
I have had an epic, but incomplete novel in my head for twenty-eight years. With little progress, frustration is real. Someone I loved suggested I start small, a short story perhaps. You can challenge yourself as I have to micro fiction: 100 word stories are challenging!
Maybe we can start with non-fiction. With research and facts already out there, it should be easier to formulate thoughts and opinions around that.
Either way, it is time to start writing. The words you put down today is better than the words you didn’t write yesterday.
When I first acquire a new camera, I don’t bother with the instruction manual. I don’t want to follow the rules of composition in photography so why would I wait to follow the rules of composing a piece of writing?
Nike had it exactly right- just do it
Future Proof
2020-03-15 14:42:01
By the time my child and maybe one day grandchildren, rummage around ole Grandpa Denbow’s digital shoebox of photos left behind after my death, they’ll only be able to view his years of photographic experimentation at a postage-stamp resolution on their 16K screens integrated into their walls.
It’s thoughts like these that make me want to go through a batch of photos and print them all at 4x6, so there’s at least something around to document the era.
But I am behind in this. I still need to organize and then finally print these up.
What more can I do right now that will ensure that my photographs withstand the test of time?
It matters to me right now. Will it matter to them?
Why does this resonate with me so strongly?
I’ve been taking a strong look at two similar but different philosophies recently and want to dive deeper.
Stoicism and Taoism.
I’ve studied, practiced and taught Christianity but these days I have a hard time coming to terms with so many things that I actually don’t know what to think anymore.
I understand the word of God but sometimes it is a difficult concept. It is mysterious, sometimes enigmatic, but not beyond my capability.
I’ve served in a few missionary trips overseas, witnessed modern day Biblical miracles so I’m not divorced from it, and would never call myself an atheist. Spirituality pervades everything I’m involved in, but I don’t know how to put my finger on it.
Studying other schools of thought is permissible, even encouraged. So I will do just that.
Stoicism is a philosophy of personal ethics informed by its system of logic and its views on the natural world.
The truth taught in Taoism is to embrace life in actions that support you as a person.
These philosophies don’t diminish beliefs but enhance by putting them into practical, applicable use.
I can believe in that. I can practice that.
Work From Home
2020-03-17 18:59:49
Thanks to the Wuhan virus (COVID-19), I’ll be working from home between 7-45 days. I thought I’d document the start of this with a Polaroid black and white 600 film.
The Pearl District
2020-03-20 20:01:47
2020-03-06
C: Pentax K1000
F: 35mm ISO 200 MotoFoto color expired 2002
L: 50mm
Laughter
2020-03-21 22:18:55
Is still the best medicine.
The Music Of My Soul
2020-03-22 14:13:50
“I don’t know why I was born with this belief in something deeper and larger than we can see. But it’s always called. Even as a boy, I knew that trees and light and sky all point to some timeless center out of view. I have spent my
life listening to that center and filtering it through my heart. This listening
and filtering is the music of my soul, of all souls.
After almost fifty years, I’ve run out of ways to name this. Even now,
my heart won’t stand still.”
Mark Nepo
More Thoughts On Family Photos
2020-03-23 19:24:56
I take a lot of photos of my daughter. She was born with a camera documenting everything like I was the paparazzi.
There are so many pictures of her throughout the years it is difficult which ones to choose for prints or in a yearbook. I'm trying to balance what photos are important to me and what photos she will treasure. What will she remember when she looks back at them? Oh sure, the exasperation at dad for asking her to pose or document her is real enough now, but will she look back with gratitude?
This makes no difference to me since I am unlikely to change my ways and keep snapping every chance I get.
When the time comes, I want those family photo albums that my mother has curated over the years. As an active child, my young life was a blur. Those photos will help anchor my memories. I can only hope that my daughter will feel the same way.
Perhaps this was clearer and more helpful than my earlier post.
A Reminder
2020-03-26 20:40:31
A reminder to self: when things are taken away (including this period of social distancing), it is time to appreciate what I have.
Doodler
2020-03-28 08:54:41
I’ve never been accused of being a sketch artist or good at drawing but I am more of a “doodler.”
My first attempt at comic book sketches was titled “Snake Eyes” that followed an ordinary snake fixed with two dice for eyeballs. The series probably didn’t make it past issue #2. I tried recreating simple comics like “The Far Side” or “Bloom County” but I just don’t have that talent. I never had the patience or the time to practice. Not when playing outside was available.
Alas, my drawing skills have not evolved from the second grade but I do find myself having a little more patience. I appreciate the therapeutic process and less on the end result that only a select few may or may not see.
I cannot be good at everything and that’s okay. For a hobby, I think doodling is just fine.
Enjoying The Process
2020-03-13 20:18:57
Long before my beautiful daughter was born I was heavily interested in photography. I used a compact point and shoot Fuji to bring in the new millennium. Then upgraded to a more robust featured Olympus with optical zoom. All of this was used as a hobby, to document life events, etc. The images were okay but they weren’t the best quality. I used this life changing event of her arriving in our home as a way to justify my first DSLR, a Nikon D50. I wanted more quality images to capture just how beautiful she is. The next step of course was to advance my photography into portraits of other beautiful people. I learned by doing and evolved.
Twenty years later and my excitement and love for photography has grown. I find myself always looking for photographic opportunities. I’ve enjoyed learning the post-processing and organizing. The photo creativity has overshadowed my writing creativity. Now I am at the point where I want these images off the hard drive where no one can see them and printed up for full view. All the while keep learning and practicing for more.
I’ve documented people, events, concerts, travel, landscape and street photography. I’ve recently gone back to film photography and am remembering the joy of making each image count. Taking the time to think and enjoy the process. After all this I realized something:
My best photograph is the one I haven’t taken yet.
My best work is still ahead of me and this is what keeps me going.
The Muse
2020-03-20 19:13:58
She is creative, talented and good at everything she tries. She inspires me like no one else.
Constraints
2020-03-29 00:11:06
Weeks ago, we were living on the greatest planet in the known universe but now we are living in quarantine for our own good and are living with constraints instead. We are learning that constraints can be beneficial. It is maddening to be restricted in such a way but again, maybe it’s for the best.
We are learning how to adapt how we work, play and rest. I’d like to add that we need constraints on media consumption. Less news, less screens. We need to be embracing these constraints and explore our creativity. Learn to be creative with what we have in the pantry, play with the toys we already have instead of wanting what we don’t have, and look for that bright side.
Sure, I am angry and frustrated at these constraints at first but I will adapt. I am adapting, slowly, but not easily. I have to learn how to vent this frustration in a more creative manner. Why don’t I embrace the improving weather and kick a ball around? Preferably kicked hard against a solid surface. Curate music playlists based on improving moods, read that novel. There are still trails to explore, parks to walk.
When the situation returns to some sense of normalcy we should find ourselves better for it and continue to enjoy this time we have left.
Coping Mechanism
2020-03-29 00:11:38
I am proud to know people who are blessed with common sense and intelligence and I am even proud to know others who are fearful, anxious and nervous. This globe-trotting virus is crazy and is causing a lot of fear, anxiety and nervousness.
The usual ways most people cope aren’t working right now. We can’t procrastinate or avoid this. We can’t ignore it. We do not have control, we can’t quit this, we can’t lash out (we can, but to no good), the same goes for worrying about it. The sooner we throw all of these feelings out the better.
I can flip out or I can be more mindful and meditate. Meditation is not a cure all but it can help anxiousness and frustration.
I’ve been selfish. The freedom to do and go as I please was not fully appreciated until safety restrictions were enforced. I need to start embracing these constraints. I spent this past winter embracing the quiet times, to read, write, organize my thoughts and even sleep better. I can continue these things a while longer. But as a social extrovert who thrives being outdoors and travel, this isn’t easy. I can be bitter that my upcoming southwest adventures are postponed or I can be mindful and productive.
I’m choosing the latter.
Give Us This Day
2020-03-29 20:44:56
One benefit to this world-wide virus event is that I have more time to do with as I please. Plans are cancelled or postponed, stay-at-home orders are in effect (although I did sneak across the border and into Arkansas today), dining out is not an option unless you enjoy eating in your car (fried chicken picnic by an Arkansas pond was different), but how much longer can this go on? What if the next two months are the same, or worse, locked down even tighter?
I am taking this day by day. That’s all I have. I can’t count on tomorrow. I’m not glued to my television, I don’t refresh the news websites, thank goodness I am not on social media and blasted with misinformation and fear. Is any of that necessary? No. I’ve proven that for the past couple of years and I am not missing out. I have time but I also want to make use of this time.
Eventually this thing will fizzle out. We’ll all flood the restaurants and bars and shopping malls soon enough. The offices and small businesses will open again and people will go back to work as they had before. The gyms will fill up with sweaty people, we can visit family and friends in their homes. Handshakes and hugs will be more heartfelt.
And when this virus has passed, can I look back and tell myself I was satisfied with the extra time I had? I still want to work out more at home, read and write more, experiment with my film photography, pick up that ukulele and at least make sure it’s tuned properly and more.
I’ve been reading the old stoic philosophers and I liked this quote from Seneca: “It is not that we have a short time to live, but we waste a lot of it.”
Sleep
Meditate/pray
Workout
Check on family and friends
Reading
Writing
Better nutrition
Learn something new
Build your own music playlists for moods
Watch something different than usual and no more than 2 hrs
Solve the world’s problems in conversations
Play games
Laugh
The best part of this list? I don’t need some damned virus as an excuse to do any of this. These are my goals and hobbies. For me. If this was my last day and I was able to do a few of these then so be it.
With all the distractions going on during these current events (Wuhan virus) it can be difficult to focus on anything else.
However, I believe doing what we do best can be very beneficial. By creating and doing the things we enjoy, it will help us stay positive, and to stay focused.
By creating and doing, it may be positive for others as a pleasant distraction from those same current events. What we create and if we choose to share could be helpful to those around us. We need more pleasant and meaningful distractions. We need more ideas, art, stories as uplifting and inspirational input instead of the depressing and sensational news out there.
Situations like these make us realize how small the world can be and how connected we are to each other.
Instead of avoiding creativity, embrace it. Share it. I’ll be sharing more of my thoughts and more of my photography. I choose not to get caught up by world crisis.
Keep calm and share on.
By the time my child and maybe one day grandchildren, rummage around ole Grandpa Denbow’s digital shoebox of photos left behind after my death, they’ll only be able to view his years of photographic experimentation at a postage-stamp resolution on their 16K screens integrated into their walls.
It’s thoughts like these that make me want to go through a batch of photos and print them all at 4x6, so there’s at least something around to document the era.
But I am behind in this. I still need to organize and then finally print these up.
What more can I do right now that will ensure that my photographs withstand the test of time?
It matters to me right now. Will it matter to them?
Why does this resonate with me so strongly?
I’ve been taking a strong look at two similar but different philosophies recently and want to dive deeper.
Stoicism and Taoism.
I’ve studied, practiced and taught Christianity but these days I have a hard time coming to terms with so many things that I actually don’t know what to think anymore.
I understand the word of God but sometimes it is a difficult concept. It is mysterious, sometimes enigmatic, but not beyond my capability.
I’ve served in a few missionary trips overseas, witnessed modern day Biblical miracles so I’m not divorced from it, and would never call myself an atheist. Spirituality pervades everything I’m involved in, but I don’t know how to put my finger on it.
Studying other schools of thought is permissible, even encouraged. So I will do just that.
Stoicism is a philosophy of personal ethics informed by its system of logic and its views on the natural world.
The truth taught in Taoism is to embrace life in actions that support you as a person.
These philosophies don’t diminish beliefs but enhance by putting them into practical, applicable use.
I can believe in that. I can practice that.
Thanks to the Wuhan virus (COVID-19), I’ll be working from home between 7-45 days. I thought I’d document the start of this with a Polaroid black and white 600 film.
2020-03-06
C: Pentax K1000
F: 35mm ISO 200 MotoFoto color expired 2002
L: 50mm
“I don’t know why I was born with this belief in something deeper and larger than we can see. But it’s always called. Even as a boy, I knew that trees and light and sky all point to some timeless center out of view. I have spent my
life listening to that center and filtering it through my heart. This listening
and filtering is the music of my soul, of all souls.
After almost fifty years, I’ve run out of ways to name this. Even now,
my heart won’t stand still.”
